Freddy
Inquisitive, intelligent, charming, respectful and a tad cheeky. These are just some of the ingredients that spring to mind when I think of Freddy’s make-up. It’s like during the formation of his DNA all the best traits, competed, collided and colluded for a spot on the rubric. He’s effervescent, full of energy and constantly eager to learn and improve himself. He reminds me of the opening lines of my favourite poem ‘You’re’ by Sylvia Plath. ‘Clownlike, happiest on your hands, Feet to the stars, and moon-skulled’. If you ask him about his weekend, be prepared to set aside a good half hour so at least you’ve got till Saturday covered. Just trying to find a date in his calendar to have a chat about this blog piece is difficult. He’s still interested but the next 10 days are ‘choccas.’
I know Freddy because we used to work together. There’s not a day that goes by that he’s not actively doing something. He rides to work, often has a yoga session in the morning, cooks while listening to eclectic music, enjoys Body Electric social dancing, can perform a magic trick or two and sporadically teaches himself Spanish thanks to Duo Lingo. He’s genuinely into many things. We even share a flair for vexillology with the Seychelles and Northern Macedonia being fan favourites. Name a topic and he’ll run off a quirky fact. I would not be surprised if he could recite all international airport, postal and dialling codes. It’s not a case of showing off, it’s because he’s keen to share knowledge and engage in meaningful discussion with others. Having said that you’d totally want him on your trivia team.
Born and raised in Brisbane, Freddy’s lived in almost every state and territory and held several positions in the public service across several jurisdictions. He cites two people for having a profound influence on his life. The first and foremost is his grandma. I remember greeting Freddy one morning after her passing. He was subdued, seemed lost, like part of his spirit died too, testament to the strength of their bond. I never met the woman, but I bet she too, like her grandson, had zest for life and a glint in the eye. At the mention of her name there’s a lightness in his voice, evoking a deep-seated respect for a mischievous, mysterious soul. She sounds like an enigma, like Tinker Bell or a fairy godmother. Freddy says his family has never truly established her background. They know she was raised by an aunt but beyond that she’s kept life’s cards close to her chest. I feel he does likewise at times, I would almost say he can be a little guarded. There’s been moments I’ve felt he’s been on the tip of saying something, something that reveals more of his thoughts and opinions, only to pull back at the last moment like a poker player who knows his limits. I try to tease out this sentiment but the cards fold and the moment is gone.
The second influential person is Marie Marvingt. He’s sent me a Wikipedia page. I think to understand this Frenchwoman, rather than ask what has she done, it is better to ask what hasn’t she done? How’s this for a life highlight reel. She was an athlete (try riflery, cycling, gymnastics, horseback riding, fencing, tennis, skating, luging, ice skating, boxing, martial arts, golf, hockey and soccer), mountaineer, aviator, qualified surgical nurse, record breaking balloonist and journalist. She also became the world’s first combat pilot and completed the Tour de France in 1908 despite being refused entry because it was only open to men. Note: only 36 of the 114 men who entered finished the race. I love her profile pic, it’s of her in the cockpit with a face that all but says, “tell me I can’t do this and I’ll show you”. I think Marie and Freddy would make fascinating dinner companions, though you’d probably need to take a week’s leave to hear out their joint ventures.
He seems to have struck the perfect balance of maintaining a routine but also open to spontaneity and seizing the moment. I do love his work schedule. He rides to the office, having brought his ironed shirts in on the weekend, brews a coffee at around 10am which is a process in and of itself and happily engages in office banter at opportune moments. He found one of the most difficult aspects of COVID-19 was it took away the incidental, the random conversations that meander down rabbit holes even Alice would struggle to come across. One of the most memorable that springs to mind was a 25 minute group discussion about how a colleague and his mum could gain efficiencies in reconciling payments of their shared credit card. Freddy’s facilitation of the conversation was masterful, on par with Tony Jones of Q&A.
He’s been asked before whether he’s ever had a bad day. He’s always upbeat and enthusiastic (but not in an annoying way). If I could draft a LinkedIn profile it’d read ‘emotionally intelligent and adaptive to different contexts and audiences’. So much so, apparently he once contemplated being a contestant on ‘Survivor,’ but parked the idea owing to timing and logistics. If the tribe could speak I’ve no doubt they’d embrace an authentic, witty leader with open arms.
Freddy’s also blessed with the most amazing head of curls. They’re like his personality, they spring and never recoil, no matter what the weather or scenario. I was shocked when he came into work one day with a shaved head. Naturally the curls grew back but as a fan of the ringlet it took some adjusting. I think it’s reflective of the fact that he likes to mix things up and doesn’t like being ‘comfortable’.
They say that actions speak louder than words. I have no idea who ‘they’ are, but it’s a nice segue for this next train of thought. I have a confession. I love being on kitchen duty. It’s true. There’s something about unpacking/packing that dishwasher, getting out the paper towel and wiping away the day’s breadcrumbs. One morning poor Freddy was assembling his carefully constructed breakfast when I zoomed along the bench tops, officious in my Spray and Wiping, leaving no surface untouched. Freddy moved his dish ever so slightly away from the floating particles. It was enough. It was all that was required. A slight movement that was code for ‘please do not pour toxins on my food’ and I have been mindful ever since.
On a more serious note, he’s taught me subconsciously about the power of words. He has no qualms about gently pulling people up if they make a comment that is disparaging of others. Words can be sticks and stones. Depending on how they’re used, words can hurt. A friend made an interesting comment that if you want to eliminate prejudice you need to treat it like a contact tracer and target each and every case until you reach comment zero. Freddy is not willing to let a remark pass, no matter how innocent someone thinks it is, if there is a possibility it could slight others. He will at the very least ask a person why they hold that view and encourage them to talk through their reasoning. I thank Freddy for his courage to lead by example. Through his actions he has opened my eyes to the fact there are so many who have experienced and continue to encounter challenges that I as a privileged white woman will likely never comprehend but should learn for myself.
He nurtures a sense of enquiry, delves beneath sweeping statements and views issues through different prisms, just as light emits various shadows pending its refraction. As we explore these themes, I ask Freddy if he can hold on a tic, and approach the bar staff to see if they wouldn’t mind turning down the vol a bit, it’s ramped up, the Jackson 5 are no longer playing, and it’s disrupting our phone conversation. Afterwards, and without missing a beat, Freddy yells at an apparent passing group of patched Bandidos to keep the revving of their Harley Davidsons to a minimum. The irony is not lost.
He’s currently into Japanese mindfulness which he likes reading about in the library. He’s a supporter of libraries and community spaces. According to one of the websites proffered by Google, in Japan it’s called ‘shinrin-yoku,’ which translates to ‘forest bathing’ and is the practice of immersing yourself in nature to improve your well-being'. He’s just returned from two weeks in Bright and Eildon with his partner Miriam and their two boys, Archie the dog and Jacob the cat. International travel is off the cards owing to COVID but as an avid hiker he is working up a list of places to explore. Then it dawns on me, like the apple hitting Newton’s head, just what a balanced life Freddy leads. Routine/spontaneity, practical/quirky, considered/frankness, activity/mindfulness underpinned by open-mindedness, compassion, a strong sense of self and depth. I ask him for a bit of life advice, he says imagine you’ve been told you have one more year to live and try and live your life like that. Maximise your time wisely but make sure you smell the roses along the way.
Freddy has forged his own trail, which others, including yours truly, instinctively try to follow.
He continues to enjoy a bath of his own making.
This man is well and truly washed.